The Day Which Made A Change
30 Jan 2005...morning ...this morning was different ..really different for me.a big change of my life...my life is going to change from today onwards..till yesterday i was the little girl of my mom and dad....today i m a woman...this could be a great example of fastest conversion..for a person.It took 24 years to turn a little baby girl into a young girl..but it hardly took 24 hours to turn that young girl into a woman...really amazing fact of our society.So here i m ..a woman today...or should a say as per the society expectation i should be woman today...coz yesterday was my marriage..i m a married woman today..as per the Indian culture wearing a Saree ..lots of bangles in my hands..jewelleries..bindi on forehead and the most important thing sindoor on my head...this "chutki bhar sindoor" was the symbol that i m no more a girl now..i m a married woman now.Today was the day of my "vidaii"..means i had to leave my parent..my own house..my room..my things...actually everything which belongs to me since so many years.and accept a unknown home..unknown persons..unknown room...unknown things..which i have never seen in my life before today...strange but true.:)
Every one around me were advising me how to behave as a"bahu"(daughter in law)..trying to convert d girl into a woman or should i say warning me not to behave like a girl..u r not a "bacchii " now.Do's and Dont's.How to please my sasu maa..i have to get up early in the morning..have to touch every one's feet... have to do everything whatever my inlaws will say and so many other advices.and i was just listening but not interested...too much tired of long wedding process and wanted to have a good sleep..and those ladies were advising me to get up early in the morning....seriously felt like crying and shouting.but i couldn't as i have to behave as woman..a mature person.till yesterday i cud do a mistake and everyone can forgive that thinking me as a girl but not now........how can i married woman can do such silly mistake like sleeping late in the morning...
Anyways i was getting ready for my "vidaii".lots of thoughts were coming in my mind that time.on one hand i was happy that i m going to be with mridul(my husband)on d other hand i was very very sad as i had to leave my own home..ma papa bhaiya...and that time the sadness..the pain was greater than the happiness.before that day i have only seen other girls leaving their home and parent and i felt bad ..but today i were experiencing the same..and it was really really pain full.the vidaii rituals were going on and that too in my own room..i was trying to control my tears but they were coming out automatically..everyone around me was trying pacify me...then the rituals ended and had to leave my room..in fact my home..that moment came...i was coming out from my room with mridul...crying heavily..my mom was in front me..she hugged me n obviously she was also crying..that moment some auntie ji of my colony in that room said "mil lo beta ..aakhiri baar maa se mil lo".........that line hurted me so much ..i felt like killing that auntie.but i couldn't.the only thing i could did was crying n crying..then my brother came to me n escorted to me towards the exit door..he was holding me so strongly ..i felt that though he was escorting me towards d exit door still he didn't want me too go.i have seen my brother crying earlier also but this time his tears was totally different..the love,affection,care i saw that time on his face....i never saw.i was also holding his hand very tightly and saying in my heart ..don't let me go bhaiya plz..wen i crossed the door..i was looking behind ..looking at my home..the walls...everything of my house..felt like i wont be able to see all this again in my life like today.
Outside my father was standing....waiting for me...till this moment perhaps i was trying to take a control on me...but as soon as i saw papa..i lost myself..hugged papa so tightly and saying again n again...papa i don't want to go plz..papa don't let me go....and papa was trying to pacify me.he was crying,trying to control himself...and trying to assure me that i will be always his little girl..this home will remain same for me as today...always.I remember papa literally requested to mridul plz take care of my daughter...plz make her happy always..like he was praying in front of god ..joining both his hand..with tears in his eyes.i can never forget that face of papa..papa has given me everything in my life..he loved me a lot.."lot"is the word i can use.
mridul tried to assure papa.and then bhaiya made me sit in the car..i was not ready to leave his hand..we both were crying..in fact "vidaii" of a girl is a moment where whoever present there were having tears in their eyes..
mom was wiping my tears with her Saree..and then car started..i was holding my mom's hand that time..crying so badly...and then the car left...i left my mom hands..left tears in every ones eyes..in my eyes.though i knew that i will come back to my home..to my parent..but i knew this thing also that things won't be remain same as they are today...next time mom dad's little girl will not come back to her home..no..a married woman will come back to her "mayeka"(parent's home).Some changes,some rules are made by god..which we cant change even we wish to..no matter so hard we wish to change them........and unwillingly accepting that change i was going to my new home where my life was going to change..completely ...
30 Jan 2005...morning ...this morning was different ..really different for me.a big change of my life...my life is going to change from today onwards..till yesterday i was the little girl of my mom and dad....today i m a woman...this could be a great example of fastest conversion..for a person.It took 24 years to turn a little baby girl into a young girl..but it hardly took 24 hours to turn that young girl into a woman...really amazing fact of our society.So here i m ..a woman today...or should a say as per the society expectation i should be woman today...coz yesterday was my marriage..i m a married woman today..as per the Indian culture wearing a Saree ..lots of bangles in my hands..jewelleries..bindi on forehead and the most important thing sindoor on my head...this "chutki bhar sindoor" was the symbol that i m no more a girl now..i m a married woman now.Today was the day of my "vidaii"..means i had to leave my parent..my own house..my room..my things...actually everything which belongs to me since so many years.and accept a unknown home..unknown persons..unknown room...unknown things..which i have never seen in my life before today...strange but true.:)
Every one around me were advising me how to behave as a"bahu"(daughter in law)..trying to convert d girl into a woman or should i say warning me not to behave like a girl..u r not a "bacchii " now.Do's and Dont's.How to please my sasu maa..i have to get up early in the morning..have to touch every one's feet... have to do everything whatever my inlaws will say and so many other advices.and i was just listening but not interested...too much tired of long wedding process and wanted to have a good sleep..and those ladies were advising me to get up early in the morning....seriously felt like crying and shouting.but i couldn't as i have to behave as woman..a mature person.till yesterday i cud do a mistake and everyone can forgive that thinking me as a girl but not now........how can i married woman can do such silly mistake like sleeping late in the morning...
Anyways i was getting ready for my "vidaii".lots of thoughts were coming in my mind that time.on one hand i was happy that i m going to be with mridul(my husband)on d other hand i was very very sad as i had to leave my own home..ma papa bhaiya...and that time the sadness..the pain was greater than the happiness.before that day i have only seen other girls leaving their home and parent and i felt bad ..but today i were experiencing the same..and it was really really pain full.the vidaii rituals were going on and that too in my own room..i was trying to control my tears but they were coming out automatically..everyone around me was trying pacify me...then the rituals ended and had to leave my room..in fact my home..that moment came...i was coming out from my room with mridul...crying heavily..my mom was in front me..she hugged me n obviously she was also crying..that moment some auntie ji of my colony in that room said "mil lo beta ..aakhiri baar maa se mil lo".........that line hurted me so much ..i felt like killing that auntie.but i couldn't.the only thing i could did was crying n crying..then my brother came to me n escorted to me towards the exit door..he was holding me so strongly ..i felt that though he was escorting me towards d exit door still he didn't want me too go.i have seen my brother crying earlier also but this time his tears was totally different..the love,affection,care i saw that time on his face....i never saw.i was also holding his hand very tightly and saying in my heart ..don't let me go bhaiya plz..wen i crossed the door..i was looking behind ..looking at my home..the walls...everything of my house..felt like i wont be able to see all this again in my life like today.
Outside my father was standing....waiting for me...till this moment perhaps i was trying to take a control on me...but as soon as i saw papa..i lost myself..hugged papa so tightly and saying again n again...papa i don't want to go plz..papa don't let me go....and papa was trying to pacify me.he was crying,trying to control himself...and trying to assure me that i will be always his little girl..this home will remain same for me as today...always.I remember papa literally requested to mridul plz take care of my daughter...plz make her happy always..like he was praying in front of god ..joining both his hand..with tears in his eyes.i can never forget that face of papa..papa has given me everything in my life..he loved me a lot.."lot"is the word i can use.
mridul tried to assure papa.and then bhaiya made me sit in the car..i was not ready to leave his hand..we both were crying..in fact "vidaii" of a girl is a moment where whoever present there were having tears in their eyes..
mom was wiping my tears with her Saree..and then car started..i was holding my mom's hand that time..crying so badly...and then the car left...i left my mom hands..left tears in every ones eyes..in my eyes.though i knew that i will come back to my home..to my parent..but i knew this thing also that things won't be remain same as they are today...next time mom dad's little girl will not come back to her home..no..a married woman will come back to her "mayeka"(parent's home).Some changes,some rules are made by god..which we cant change even we wish to..no matter so hard we wish to change them........and unwillingly accepting that change i was going to my new home where my life was going to change..completely ...
Best till so far. I must say that a new comer blogger has joined the path of main stream bloggers in very short time.Really touching...
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